Get to the Choppa! (Helicopters)
A brief history of vertical flight, plus, lots of accent thingys

Dan Van Oss Complete Columns, History, Inventions 0 Comments

Helicopters are aviation devices that utilize rotating blades for lift, used primarily for transport and for dumping Bond villains into tall smokestacks. They are also used for military purposes, law enforcement, medical use, and for providing something for Arnold Schwarzenegger to point to while yelling “Get to the choppa!”. Here come those accent thingys again Although helicopters are one of …

Come See The Best Thing Since Itself (The Bread Slicing Machine)
Taking a whack at history's most important invention (next to the cigarette umbrella).

Dan Van Oss Complete Columns, Food, History, Inventions 0 Comments

In the pantheon of history there exists a singular crowning achievement, a kairotic moment if you will, or even if you won’t; a truly pivotal event in the unfolding saga that is this flowering enigma called mankind, so signaled by an invention exhibiting the pinnacle of American know-how, which has since proved to be the benchmark of and ultimate standard …

Gravity Roads, Scenic Railways and Skittle Vomit (Roller Coasters)
Take a spin on our fact-mangled history of the roller coaster.

Dan Van Oss Complete Columns, History, Inventions 0 Comments

A roller coaster is an amusement mechanism devised to separate the stomach contents of passengers from their owners. First popular in the late 19th century, it has become a staple of the modern amusement park, along with sunburn, Skittle vomit, and lukewarm, ten-dollar hot dogs. Don’t Gorka your Katalnaya when you’re eating Skittles The origins of the roller coaster can …

Here’s an Idea: Write About the Light Bulb
We shed some dubious light on the most important invention since Easy Cheese.

Dan Van Oss Complete Columns, History, Inventions 2 Comments

There is one invention by which all others are measured in terms of impact and usefulness, having irrevocably changed when and how we live our lives. I’m speaking, of course, about Easy Cheese, which you can accurately spray into your mouth at all hours of the day with the help of another cool invention, the light bulb. Commonly accredited to …