It’s the Super Bo… Excuse me; the “Sensational Basin”!
Facts and history from the most intensely-trademarked event in sports.

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The Super Bowl®, as you probably already know, is the annual, intensely-trademarked championship game held at the end of each decade-long season of professional American football. It should not be confused with the lesser-known Supra Bowl, which is held by disgruntled ex-Toyota executives by smashing Toyota Supras into each other in the parking lot of Toyota headquarters. The game is played in early February, approximately …

Prognosticating Hedgehogs and Whistle Pigs (Groundhog Day)
We predict you will experience six more minutes of the history of Groundhog Day.

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Groundhog Day (Canadian French: Jour de la Marmotte [“Marmot Soup”] and Pennsylvania German: Grundsaudaag, Murmeltiertag [“Mumble Mumble Mumble Groundhog”]) is celebrated every February 2nd, primarily in the United States, but also in Canada, where they have to pry the frozen groundhog out the ground with a crowbar. Popular folklore says the if it is sunny when the groundhog emerges from his den, there will be …

More Than Just Ostrich Racing and Horse Diapers (the Rose Parade)
Find out the real, if suspiciously un-fact-filled, history of the Rose Parade.

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The Rose Parade, also known as the “Rose Parade presented by Honda”, also known as “The Rose Parade (This Spot Available Next Year for $100,000,000)”, is held in Pasadena, California every year on New Year’s Day. It is seen by the hundreds of thousands of people who line the streets each year, plus millions more in over 100 countries, and …

6 Christmas Decorating Styles To Avoid
The dubious adventures of Dancing Hula Santa and Bam Bam Baby Jesus

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One of the unspoken rules of home ownership, such as “never shovel your snow into your neighbor’s open car window”, is that you must decorate your yard every holiday season. For most of us, this consists of tastefully hanging a string of icicle lights over the garage door while sacrificing a few extremities to the sub-zero weather. However, some of …

Black Friday Survival Guide for Men
Our attempt at helping you survive another year of cellulite massager sales.

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How do we even speak of this day, this one day of the year where Shopping rules all, where even time bends and even stops according to Its will, as shoppers, drone-like, emerge from their homes at 12:01 am and stream to The Mall in long, chugging lines of light-blue minivans. You will huddle in your bed, Male Non-Shopper, in …

Lions and Turkeys and Eels, Oh My! (Thanksgiving)
A slightly historical synopsis of our most belt-loosening holiday.

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Thanksgiving Day, as like many American holidays, has morphed from its original intention as an expression of thanks to a Creator for our basic needs, into screaming at the TV because the Cowboys fumbled on the 2 yard line. But Thanksgiving’s humble beginnings beg us to remember how blessed we are that the majority of us have a roof over our …