Gentlemen, Start Your Marmons! (the Indianapolis 500)
Our possibly fabricated take on "The Greatest Spectacle in Racing"

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Billed as “the Greatest Spectacle in Racing”, along with the fees that homeowners outside the track charge to park your car, the Indianapolis 500 is one of the most recognizable motor races in the world. Contested every Memorial Day in the US at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, it is part of the “Triple Crown of Motorsport” along with the Monaco …

To Tree or Not to Tree (Arbor Day)
Have you hugged your tree, bush, vine, or prickly bramble today?

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Arbor Day, once a fairly forgotten day relegated to the holiday minor leagues along with “Bastille Day“, “National Pharmacists Day” and “Eggs Benedict Day“, has seen a resurgen – what? It’s still obscure? No wonder it was so hard to find info on it. Okay, Arbor Day: the celebration of the invention of counterweight-carrying devices found in theater fly systems… Nope; hang on… …

Paper Fish and Huntigowks (April Fool’s Day)
Everyone’s favorite day to finally get back at their co-workers without getting summarily fired.

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April Fool’s Day, sometimes called “All Fools Day”, sometimes called “If You Post-It Note My Office Again This Year So Help Me I’ll Kill You Day”, is considered one of the most light-hearted, if not most annoying days of the year. The practice involves people or organizations playing practical jokes or hoaxes on each other, in hopes of scoring the …

Yeah, baby! It’s March Madness!
Your guide to the yearly excitement of March M- WHAT!? YOU'RE CRAZY! HE WAS TOTALLY SET!!

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“March Madness” primarily refers to the inter-office semi-legalized gambling that takes place every spring right after everyone becomes an instant self-proclaimed expert on whether [insert random basketball player name here] has the “ups” and “efficiency numbers” to “contribute” the maximum number of “quotation marks” to “complete” this sentence. There are also some basketball games. The tournament is for men and women in U.S. …

We’ll Take The Shakes But Hold The Snakes (St. Patrick’s Day)
It's not easy to be green when Sheila in Human Resources thinks she's Irish.

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First, the obligatory St. Patrick’s Day Joke: What’s green and gets made fun of because it involves drinking copious amounts of beer? Answer: Germany! While we admit that that joke was lame and pretty much just made up on the spot, at least it gives us an intro for today’s historically inept treatise on the only holiday named after a …

Please Bee Mine, Deer! (Valentine’s Day)
We hope you heart this lovingly fact-devoid history of everyone’s favorite compulsory holiday.

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For many people, Valentine’s day evokes memories of unrequited grade school crushes, paper Valentine receptacle bags decorated with hearts and paste and taped to your school desk to hopelessly await Cindy Melpers Valentine (which never came), and indigestible antacid hearts that told us “YOU ROCK,” even when we knew better. For others, it’s even worse. Cheese-making bryds and the Black Death [pullquote type=”right”]”Valentine’s …