All About Beethoven: Part I (The Part Where He Is Born And Has To Be A Teenager For A While)
All about Schroeder's favorite composer, and then some.

Dan Van Oss Biographies, Complete Columns, History, Musicians, Authors & Artists Leave a Comment

PART ONE OF A SERIES (SEE PART TWO) Most kids these days think Mozart is the name of Katy Perry’s chinchilla and Beethoven is that dog in the movie their parents showed them when they were kids to keep them quiet in the van after drinking too many Slurpees at the Qwikee Stop after soccer practice. Ha ha! Crazy kids! Little do they …

Shoe Shopping Survival for Men
Navigating the no-man's-land of women's shoe departments.

Dan Van Oss Complete Columns, Shopping Survival for Men Leave a Comment

In our continued efforts to educate men and sell column space we provide you with this brief guide to Shoe Shopping Survival for Men, which we hope will help you better understand why women – hey, wait, come back! It’s not that bad! We’ll even use a Sports Analogy! Shame Waves and Shoe Fashion If you’ve ever been in the …

Hairless Chick Magnets
It's never too late to really stink at learning to play guitar.

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Have you ever wanted to play the guitar, but thought, “No, man, all I want to do is ride my bike and not be hassled by The Man!”? If so, you were probably in the movie Easy Rider, which, of course, has nothing to do with our informative article on “You Can Still Learn To Play Guitar (Not Necessarily Just …

This %$#@! House
For those of you who want to experience the thrill of

Dan Van Oss Complete Columns, How To Leave a Comment

Hello, and welcome to the world of Home Improvement, a world filled with muttered curses and the exact wrong wrench for the job! This week, we’ll look at the first steps you novices need to take when starting on the long, dusty, rusty-nail-sticking-out-of-the-board-and-poking-into-your-foot-because-you-forgot-to-wear-your-boots-like-your-wife-told-you-to-but-no-way-are-ever-going-to-tell-her-THIS-happened road of starting your home improvement project. First, go to the bank and get a loan. We’ll …

How to Twitter Your Hashtag Into A MyFace Blog
An attempt to help you understand the latest trends in — oh, look! A funny cat photo!

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If you’re like me, you’re kind of bald, but since that has nothing to do with our topic today, we won’t be addressing that issue, so I’m not sure why you would bring it up, since it is such a sensitive topic for most men with this condition. Please, let’s talk about “Social Media” instead. “Social Media” is the common …