About The Author

Dan Van Oss grew up reading just about everything he could borrow from the town library, although admittedly sometimes just to get the sticker segments so he could complete the Reading Centipede for each book he finished. He’s a Midwest guy, having spent time in Michigan and Kentucky, but mostly Iowa, where he now lives.

He started writing during college, where he enjoyed getting red lines drawn through his Creative Writing projects, and where he also penned a weekly column in the school paper under the pseudonym “Fletcher Ford”.

Mark Twain, Tom Clancy, Marcus Sakey, Dave Barry, David Baldacci, James Lileks, Kristin Higgins, Paul Johnson, Issac Asimov.
The alarm clock won’t stop ringing.
Letting the dog outside, marketing these books, working in the yard, hanging with the family, and waiting for the alarm clock to go off to inspire me to get out of bed so I can do it all again.
I mostly use the internet. It’s pretty cool.
I think it was something about a walrus and the time/space fluctuations inherent in the existential side of Barnium string-theory, but it was way back in 1st grade so my memory isn’t too good.
First, I find a computer that is not worriedly telling me “your keyboard battery is getting low!”. Once I get past that barrier, it’s just all a lot of magic I can’t explain.
It may have been “Dr. Goat.” I remember wondering how the walrus with the mustard plaster was going to swallow that gigantic pink pill.
Carefully. Covers are not to be trifled with. Seemingly calm, they are extremely fast and can maim or even kill the unskilled reader, especially the ones with those plastic flaps that bulge open all the time. The covers, not the readers.
The Bible, A History of the American People by Paul Johnson, issue #252 of Amazing Spiderman where he gets his black and white costume AND I have a letter to the editor published, the Foundation Series by Isaac Asimov, and Robert the Rose Horse by Joan Heilbroner.
Books about The Beatles, Family Handyman magazine, cerreal boxes, Tom Clancy-ish novels, and our daughter’s weekly grade reports.
It is flat and horizontal and made of some kind of hard substance impervious to the wind and cold. They should probably make coats and other protective outerwear out of it as well.
I think it was around 1st Grade; we had that paper with the 1 inch rules and the dotted blue lines that helped us know where we should cross our “t’s”. Cursive was a killer; never quite got the hang of cursive.
Growing up middle class and white helped me to achieve that marvelously bland, vanilla-ish style that keeps my readers spellbound, waiting to see whether I’ll choose the Little Debbie Swiss Rolls or the full-on Hostess Ding Dongs at the Qwiky-Mart.
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